We all know that person who seems easily offended and upset about the slightest thing.
Maybe you are even that person yourself. If so, don’t worry – you’re not alone!
It can be tough not to let things bother you.
But if you’re sick of feeling angry, frustrated, and stressed all the time about small things, it’s worth learning how to stop letting them get to you.
Here is a guide to help you do just that.
- Why Do I Let Things Bother Me?
- 13 Ways to Not Let Things Bother You
- 1. Know Your Triggers
- 2. Choose Your Battles
- 3. Identify and Avoid Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
- 4. Challenge Your Beliefs
- 5. Take a Break
- 6. Stop Catastrophizing
- 7. Acknowledge Your Thoughts
- 8. Don’t Take Things Personally
- 9. Practice Mindfulness
- 10. Talk to Someone You Trust
- 11. Focus on What You Can Control
- 12. Don’t Bottle Up Your Feelings
- 13. Create a Plan to Deal With Your Triggers
- Final Thoughts
Why Do I Let Things Bother Me?
Are you the kind of person who can’t let things go?
Many of us often get upset about things that really shouldn’t bother us.
But why do we let things bother us when we know it’s not healthy or helpful?
There are a few different reasons:
- You’re a perfectionist: Perfectionists always strive for flawlessness and often beat themselves up for not being perfect. Hence, you may be easily offended when something goes wrong because it may feel like a personal failure.
- You’re a people-pleaser: People-pleasers tend to worry about what other people think of them. So, when someone says or does something you don’t like, it feels like rejection.
- You’re a worrier: Worriers tend to focus on the negative. Hence, you’re more likely to notice and dwell on things that bother you instead of the good things in your life.
- You have low self-esteem: Low self-esteem makes you believe that you’re not good enough. This can make you sensitive to criticism and quick to take things personally.
- You’re anxious: Anxiety can make it hard to stop thinking about things that bother you. When you’re anxious, your mind is always on high alert, making it difficult to let things go.
- You’re a pessimist: If you’re the kind of person who always expects the worst, you’re more likely to be offended when things don’t go your way.
The next time something bothers you, try to take a step back and examine the situation objectively.
Ask yourself if there’s anything you can do to resolve the issue.
If there is, take action and let it go.
13 Ways to Not Let Things Bother You
While there are numerous reasons why you might find yourself getting easily upset and triggered, there are also many ways to stop letting small things bother you.
The following tips can help you learn how to do this:
1. Know Your Triggers
Knowing what sets you off can be half the battle. But how can you know your triggers?
Start by paying attention to when you feel upset or triggered. What was happening just before you felt that way? Was there a specific person, place, or thing involved?
Take note of patterns and common denominators so you can be more aware in the future and better prepared to deal with your triggers.
In addition to external triggers, we also have emotional triggers. These can be even harder to identify because they are memories and past experiences that can cause us to react in a certain way.
Talk to a therapist to help you explore your past and figure out what might be causing your reactions.
2. Choose Your Battles
Life will never be perfect, and things will not always go as planned.
Sometimes, you’ll have to deal with difficult people and challenging situations. And, as much as you want to, you can’t control everything. So stop trying!
Instead, focus on the things that you can control- like your reaction to the situation.
Some battles just aren’t worth fighting. If it’s not going to make a difference in the long run, let it go.
3. Identify and Avoid Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
We all have unhealthy coping mechanisms. Some of us turn to drugs or alcohol to numb our emotions. Others may engage in self-destructive behaviors like cutting or hitting themselves.
Some people try to control others to feel better about themselves. Others may withdraw from friends and family, choosing instead to self-isolate.
All these unhealthy coping mechanisms have one thing in common: they don’t work. They may temporarily relieve pain, but in the long run, they only worsen things.
If you find yourself turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms, take some time to develop healthier ways of dealing with your emotions.
4. Challenge Your Beliefs
One way to stop letting things bother you is to challenge your beliefs. What beliefs do you have that are causing you to react the way you do?
For example, if you believe that people should always be on time, what happens when they’re not?
Do you get upset and think that they don’t respect your time? Or do you give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they must have had a good reason for being late?
It’s essential to question your belief system and see if there are any areas in which you can adjust. While you shouldn’t change everything about yourself, it’s worth considering what might make you react less negatively to situations.
5. Take a Break
You could be overwhelmed by your emotions when you’re feeling irritated by everything. In this case, taking a break from work and social interactions might be helpful.
This doesn’t mean you should avoid your emotions or run away from your problems. But it can be helpful to take some time for yourself to calm down and think about what’s going on.
You might want to take a walk, listen to music, or read a book. Whatever you do, make sure it’s something that relaxes you and helps you rejuvenate. This will help you return to the situation with a fresh perspective and hopefully less irritation.
6. Stop Catastrophizing
Catastrophizing is blowing something out of proportion.
It’s like you’re telling yourself a horror story. “I can’t believe he said that to me; he must really hate me! I’ll never be good enough.” This is how you make mountains out of molehills.
You can stop catastrophizing by acknowledging that your thoughts might not be reality. You should also get some distance from the situation and look at it objectively.
Sometimes, putting the situation in perspective helps you see that it’s not as big of a deal as you think. It also reminds you that negative thoughts are not facts.
7. Acknowledge Your Thoughts
If you’re wondering how to let things go that bother you, start by acknowledging your thoughts. Ask yourself: “Why does everything bother me?”
The answer is simple: Because you’re human. And that’s okay. It’s normal to have a lot of thoughts, especially if you’re going through a tough time.
The important thing is not to get too attached to your thoughts. Just because you’re thinking something doesn’t mean it’s true. A lot of our thoughts are just thoughts, not facts.
So don’t believe everything you think! Just let your thoughts come and go without getting too attached to them.
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8. Don’t Take Things Personally
One of the best pieces of advice you’ll ever receive is never to take things personally. It’s so easy to feel like it’s personal, but it’s also one of the quickest ways to ruin your day or week.
For example, if your boss yells at you for something that wasn’t your fault, it’s easy to take it personally and get upset.
But if you can remind yourself that it’s not about you and that your boss is just having a bad day, it’s much easier to let it roll off your back.
The same goes for friends and family. Don’t take everything they say personally; it will only lead to unnecessary conflict and hurt feelings.
9. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness means being present in the moment and aware of your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings without judgment. It sounds simple, but it can be hard to do when you’re used to letting your mind wander.
Mindfulness can help you reduce stress, anxiety, and negative thoughts. If you find that everything bothers you, practicing mindfulness may help you become more aware of your thoughts and emotions so you can let them go.
It can help you become more aware of your triggers and learn how to deal with them constructively.
10. Talk to Someone You Trust
It can be helpful to talk to someone you trust about the things that are bothering you. They could be your partner, a friend, or a therapist.
However, it’s advisable to talk to someone not involved in the situation and be candid with them. Talking about your triggers can help you understand them better and figure out how to deal with them.
11. Focus on What You Can Control
We can’t control everything that happens to us, but we can control how we react. When you find yourself getting easily triggered and upset, try to focus on what you can control. To do this, ask yourself three questions:
- What can I control?
- What can’t I control?
- How can I best deal with what I can’t control?
By focusing on what you CAN control, you’ll feel more in control of your life and less at the mercy of outside forces. And that can make a big difference in your overall happiness.
12. Don’t Bottle Up Your Feelings
Bottling up your feelings is never a good idea. It’s essential to express how you’re feeling, whether it’s anger, sadness, anxiety, or anything else.
Keeping everything inside will only make things worse. Start by talking to a trusted friend or family member about what’s happening.
If you’re not ready to talk to someone else, you can always express your feelings by writing in a journal, painting, or drawing. Art can be very therapeutic, especially when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
13. Create a Plan to Deal With Your Triggers
One of the best ways to deal with your triggers is to have a plan in place. This way, when something happens that bothers you, you’ll know exactly what to do.
However, you can’t create a plan without identifying your triggers. Once you know the things that bother you the most, you can try to avoid them if possible.
If you can’t avoid them, come up with a plan for how to deal with your triggers. For example, if you get upset every time your boss yells at you, try to have a conversation with them about it. Never let your triggers control you.
If you find that everything bothers you, you should seek ways to deal with your triggers. Otherwise, they will continue to control your life and make you unhappy.
Try some of the tips above and see what works for you. And if you need help finding ways to deal with your triggers, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist or counselor.
They can help you create a plan to deal with your triggers in a healthy and constructive way.